I had a hell of a weekend. Saturday night was spent enjoying chills, fever and sweats. The next morning I went into the ITA (Infusion Treatment Center – an outpatient service for those of us getting infusions.) The doctor, a skinny forty-two year old woman who looked twenty-five, in tight jeans and with a bare midriff (my kind of doctor) told me that the symptoms were a common side-effect of rabbit crap. I realized that I somehow must have offended the great rabbit god. I have decided to take steps to rectify this blasphemy. I will pay homage to great rabbits in history.

I have been thinking about this task during my delirium this weekend. Actually, I don’t know that there are any great rabbits in history. Rabbits have not made much of a mark in that kind of way. Let’s see. There are Flopsy, Mopsy and Cottontail. There’s Peter Rabbit who was actually a little thief – cute but larcenous. Then, there is Bugs Bunny – not exactly a role model. I suppose we could count in all the Playboy Bunnies. Some of them might qualify as great rabbits in history, or then, maybe not. Last, but by all means least, there is the Easter Bunny – the only mammal in history able to lay colored chicken eggs – a symbol of fertility. That’s it. They are all fictitious. There isn’t one great world leader, prophet, composer, artist, athlete, warrior, philosopher, etc. who is now or who has ever been a rabbit (John Updike notwithstanding.) All that rabbits seem to have given the world is stew, good luck charms and ATG. If there is a rabbit god, he/she does not have much pull. All he/she can do is make me sick.

I have other symptoms now. They are probably caused by radiation. I won’t detail them. All I will say is that I might be getting a little weird in these submissions. If so, blame it on the treatment. Only four more days to go before the actual transplant!