I am in the hospital – bone marrow transplant ward. I have a cough, so the assigned me a private room. There is a yin and a yang to everything. All the nurses and aides in this unit wear masks over their noses and mouths. I was ready for some serious flirting but it feels like Saudi Arabia. All I can see are eyes.

The masks present another problem I hadn’t known I had. I have a hearing problem and wear a hearing aid. I never realized before how much I rely on reading lips and facial expressions. In normal conversation, I often say “what?” and then get it the second time around. Here, the second time is no better than the first.

For breakfast my first day, I ordered hard-boiled eggs, cornflakes and a bagel with tea. I got one scrambled, two pieces of bacon, an applesauce muffin and weak black coffee. I sent it back. They delivered the same breakfast a second time. I thought about lying, telling them I was kosher and couldn’t eat bacon but decided just to tantum and demand what I ordered in the first place. After a 90-minute wait I got it.

I am getting radiation and a monoclonal antibody called ATG. ATG is made from rabbit crap. After six hours on Bugs Bunny juice I was sick. It felt like flu. Sinuses ached. Sniffles. Fever and chills. My BP dropped as low as 93/53 and my temp got at high as 102.2. They told me not to worry. Everyone reacts this way to Essence de Lapin. It gets better the second time around. By the third day you get used to it.

They are slow on the uptake here but after a while they do laugh at my jokes, such as they are. One nurse, holding a bag of meds went through the ritual of asking me my name, etc. She asked me if I knew my birthday. I said “yes.” (Old joke – very old material) She just stood their for about ten seconds before she got it.